Fast & Fun Rope Tips & Tricks for Beginners
Intended to supplement class and not stand-alone material
Approach
This class was initially called “Rope for People Who Don't Like Rope” – why?
Approach rope as a means to an end, rather than an end in itself – seeing rope as a tool for play and giving you tips to effectively and efficiently use that tool.
This class focuses on a few of our favorite things – non-technical, straightforward “cheap tricks” and, more importantly, applying those in ways that hopefully engage both tops and bottoms who aren’t necessarily into rope for rope’s sake (or…aren’t into that yet…)
Western style, as opposed to shibari-style. This means different techniques, materials, and focuses.
Western style often focuses on function rather than aesthetics, uses weaves instead of frictions, emphasizes expanded shapes rather than contracted shapes and movement rather than immobilization. It also focuses on emotions like pride rather than emotions like erotic shame.
None of this is the One Twue Way. There are numerous styles of bondage and various ways to learn them. Just as shibari doesn't resonate with me, Western-style won't resonate with some of you.
Encourage everyone to start by tying themselves – why?
Learning about both roles, from both a safety and empathy perspective
From a pedagogical standpoint, self-tying is a very leveraged use of our time – twice the tying and being tied.
Because Shay loves self-tying!
Consent
This isn’t "“Negotiation and Consent 101.” We won’t go into detail about negotiation and communication, but that’s not because they aren’t important.
To quote my friends at Full Circle Kink, consent is the single most crucial kink skill.
Kink creates unique opportunities for consent-related harm
So kink requires uniquely good consent skills
Safety speed round
Safety resources: twistedwindows.com/bondagesafety
Demo and hands-on basics
Defining terms
Almost all widely taught bondage techniques start with doubling up your rope. Why?
Bight (and finding the bight while checking your rope)
Tails (sometimes called working end or standing end)
Supplies
No one loves nylon more than I do, but for the types of rope play in this class, I'd recommend hemp or jute
Nylon slips and stretches, which is extra inconvenient for these types of ties
One of the main reasons I often use nylon is that, as a flyer, I find it much more sustainable and comfortable for suspension. For these types of ties where we're going for sensation, “more comfortable” is a bug, not a feature.
Rope lengths:
For the basic building blocks, you ideally want “half lengths” of rope (about 15 feet), otherwise it’s a lot of pulling rope.
For the rest of the ties, you want full lengths, generally about 30 feet.
Top 10 tips & tricks
One: Basic building blocks, making a single column
Lark’s head, reverse tension (try out both directions)
Half hitch
Make a rainbow, come over the horizon, and back through the rainbow
How tight should it be? Depends on intention…
If you’re finding this is too tight – rope goes from thick places to thin places. If you put it in a thick place, it’ll slide to a thin one. Tie the cuff on a thicker part of the limb, then slide it to the desired position.
This is a basic single column. Are there alternative methods? Yes! Often optional to have another wrap, and there are many other techniques with less pulling rope, but this is a super straightforward, versatile building block, and will serve our purposes.
Two: Cat’s Paw Cuff
This is a handy, quick-to-create cuff that tightens when “racheted” down, but not when pulled straight out.
Three: Tie-off
For furniture: Consider having pre-set tie-off rope with overhand knots, so you’re not crawling around looking for the bed frame legs.
Tying off can be strenuous, especially with little "play" in the rope – leave some room to make micro-adjustments
Wrap (over the top), split, tie a bow
Bows are lovely because probably most of us have tied a lot of them, and they’re a quick release
For tying off to knotted rope: dive in below the knot you want to anchor to, split the rope, tie a bow
Using this creatively (credit: Topologist)
4 columns, 4 posts – how many variations? (4 ^ 4 = 256 when more than one column can go to the same post, doesn't even consider face up and face down)
Four, five, and six: Rope manipulation
Knowing basic maneuvers to manage rope efficiently will make you more effective and faster at using it as a tool. So you'll be done with the rope part more quickly and have a hotter time doing it!
It might seem like you’re not Learning a Tie, but these methods will help you execute every single tie you’ll ever learn.
Tying without learning rope handling is like hunt-and-peck typing – you can do it that way, but you’ll always be slow, clumsy, and error-prone until you learn and practice touch-typing.
Even simple tasks are tricky and inelegant when you don’t have the baseline techniques
There are whole-day intensives on rope handling! You can never drill it too much.
Four: Placing rope
Consent note: If you’re with a partner, ensure you have consent to touch these areas.
Start around the waist, use tension to hold the rope, and spiral around one leg
Stay close to your partner
Place the rope and clear it as you go (throw it into the future) – if the rope is tangling around the ankle, it means you are not clearing the rope.
Handoffs
Maintain tension while removing the rope – don’t let it just fall off!
Five: Fisting rope
Pulling the rope with a hand around all of it (actually double-fisting…)
Larks head around the waist, then untie
Make large pulls
Six: Fingering/Hooking rope
Ladder tie
Finishing with half hitch
Seven: Spiral ties
Compression
There have been numerous studies on compression, mostly involving items such as weighted blankets for dental offices; however, we do what we can.
This is also called "deep touch pressure," which sources define as firm tactile sensations that provide proprioceptive input...per the research, it can consist of strokings, cuddling, squeezing, compression, or swaddling, and has a calming, organizing effect.
Compression can stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system and cause relaxation, not unlike hugging.
General principles
When you’re tying on the ground, you generally don’t need a bunch of knots and frictions – those will make it more challenging to create and undo (goes back to takeoffs and landings)
This is free-form and process-oriented. It is intended only for very short-term ties.
If you roll your partner around and the rope comes loose, that's ok! Observe what happened and adjust next time.
Practice all your rope handling skills!
Possible starting places: ankle, thigh, calf, chest, waist
Begin with a larks head/half hitch or cat’s paw cuff, then spiral around
Can add reverse tensions/ladders
Keep your partner sitting up at first; the moment you lie them down, you're limited to the legs
“Secure” with a loop under or half hitch
May need a more secure tie-off if using a more slippery rope, simple tension if using rope like jute
There is no one right way to do this! Experiment and see what feels good.
Squirm around, find failure modes, and modify accordingly.
Eight: Calf tie
Negotiation! Shins/calves can be a Whole Thing.
If a person has reduced peripheral circulation or neuropathy due to conditions like diabetes, Raynaud's, vascular diseases, etc, I would not do these ties.
We’re in it for a good time, not for a long time – I wouldn’t leave this on for more than 5 minutes.
Tie this with the leg slightly bent, muscle relaxed, and toes loosely pointed (this makes the muscle smaller)
Practice all your rope handling!
Crossing rope on the shin.
Stay at least 2 inches below the knee to minimize risk to the peroneal nerve, which is vulnerable in the knee joint space on the outside of the leg (pinky toe side)
Nine: Sadistic foot tie
I learned from Stranger – they did this while topping me and I was like, “that sucks so much, please show it to me after this”
If a person has reduced peripheral circulation or neuropathy due to conditions like diabetes, Raynaud's, vascular diseases, etc, I would not do these ties.
As they say in Alice in Wonderland, you can always have more, but you can’t very well have less – start slow/nice, and modify to meet the moment.
